Author: Constance Patterson

TO DO LIST

TO DO LIST

It is only a To Do List, but you would think Mount Kilimanjaro lies before me. The weather is beautiful, and I have no appointments, no aches nor pains, and no excuses. It is just that I don’t want to do anything on the list. I have already managed to while away several hours doing…

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DIDDLY SQUAT

DIDDLY SQUAT

The ghastly humidity currently visiting us has apparently decided to take up permanent residence. Not only does it play havoc with my early summer garden, but it has been carousing with the creative juices in my brain. Together they have produced squat … that negatory state appearing to be something until closer examination reveals nothing…

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VIDALIA LETTERS

VIDALIA LETTERS

E-MAIL CORRESPONDENCE FROM MY COVID LIFE AND TIMES October 6, 2020 Dear Kathy … the picture is of my rescue project. This poor dear Vidalia was trapped in my pantry for an unknown number of months and discovered by me …  Constance the Clueless … when I went to make chili. The poor Vidalia gave…

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SAD NEWS

SAD NEWS

Disturbing news today from the department of fact and fiction. Lord Thistledown, spokesman for the Royal House of Whinger, announced that an arrest has been made in a sad case involving the destruction of the royal bleeding-hearts. Authorities have long sought those responsible for the continued desecration of the Kewpie Garden’s beautiful Lamprocapnos. Considered by…

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PARTY LINES

PARTY LINES

It was a beautiful day, soft and quiet. As I left for my walk, I thought … perfect. I can use the time away from unfinished projects, to-do lists and the piles of paperwork on my desk. My solitary walk is always a lovely time to regroup and refocus. Unfortunately, shortly after stepping out, I could…

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COOKIES

COOKIES

Christmas was all packed up and put away for another year. All the glitz and glam was gone. With help from my neighbors, my fake tree had been dismantled, folded up, corralled into its box, and carted off leaving me to contemplate my existential astonishment at how its bogus existence had created such genuine joy…

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HOME FROM MY TRAVELS

HOME FROM MY TRAVELS

Clutching my passport, wheeling recalcitrant suitcases, collecting misplaced paraphernalia, and searching for door C on level three, I barely had time for a goodbye hug with friend Heath before I was on my way home. The past twelve days of constant companionship had become telescoped into a quick slip of time. Thought and emotion became…

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DOWN AMIDST THE VIRUS

DOWN AMIDST THE VIRUS

My body has gone viral. Last weekend Covid arrived like the badass it is, and has been making my life miserable. Like much of the world, I no longer felt threatened by the three-year-old menace … after all I was vaccinated and booster-ed up the wazoo. But apparently, it is not a good idea to…

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